Category: Humor

U2’s The Edge enters the wrestling business

Jonathan and Shawn Michaels
Jonathan & HBK

Apparently a week or so ago, “my best friend” Shawn Michaels was interviewed before his match with WWE Superstar Edge (Adam Copeland). The brilliant journalist apparently mixed up The Edge of U2 with Edge of WWE. Way to go.

Thanks to the Wrestling Observer for the transcript.

MARIA: Shawn Michaels, tonight you’re facing The Edge. Do you think you can win?
SHAWN: I’ll tell you what, Maria, I — did you just call him The Edge?
MARIA: [nods proudly]
SHAWN: …okay. You asked me if you thought I could win too, didn’tcha?
MARIA: [nods proudly]
SHAWN: I dunno, I guess now that I think about it, yeah! Yeah, I do think I can win. Especially after last week. You know something, Shelton Benjamin I have to admit gave me a run for my money last week. Shelton Benjamin, you are the finest piece of young talent that I have faced in this industry in the last 20 years, and you my friend have an incredibly bright future. Now that notwithstanding, someone’s future who is not looking so bright is … [points at Maria] The Edge! Haha! The name problems aside, he’s facing the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels.

Quality journalism there.

We had a discussion today in our office (however brief it was) about problems in journalism reporting.

This Monday, Newsweek magazine reported that a story that ran on May 9 was inaccurate. Now, an error in a news story is not that shocking, but the results of mistake is where the horror comes in.

The Newsweek article reported that U.S. military investigators had confirmed that personal at a Cuba detention center had flushed the Koran down the toilet as a means to get al-Queda and Taliban operatives to talk.

While it may seem harmless, 16 people were killed and more than 100 were injured in Afghanistan when angry protests were sparked from the report.

Desecration of the Koran is punishable by death in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Egypt, Saudia Arabia, Bangladesh, Malaysia and The Arab League have all condemned the report.

Now Newsweek Editor Mark Whitaker said he regretted that any part of the story was wrong.

“We extend our sympathies to victims of the violence and to the U.S. soldiers caught in its midst,” Whitaker wrote in the Monday, May 16 issue.

The magazine said that the information had come from a “knowledgeable government source.” Only now the source said he could not be certain he had seen the account of the Koran incident.

What does it say about our media, when we’re so pressed to get a news story that we find one “knowledgeable government source” to base an entire story on? What happened to being “democracy’s guardian angel?”

For some reason, “find at least three sources for every story” still echoes in my head from my journalism classes.

Where have we, as the media, gone wrong?

Where did we cross the line that having an exclusive or keeping advertisers happy became the standard?

Why are we as a country more concerned with who testifies in Michael Jackson’s case or Kobe Bryant’s case, than the continent of Africa going up in flames with an AIDS crisis?

When did covering a congressional hearing on steroid abuse become more important than covering the thousands of lives that have been lost to civil war in the Darfur region?

Recent reports confirm that up to 400,000 people have died in Darfur as a result of the government-sponsored genocide. The New York Times reported recently that President Bush has actually asked Congress to delete provisions about Darfur from upcoming legislation.

Yet while this genocide continues to go on, the top stories online are, “Abu Ghraib abuser sentenced to six months prison” and “British lawmakers ask Congress to back off.”

According to Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia, “News is the reporting of current events usually by local, regional or mass media in the form of newspapers, television and radio programs, or sites on the World Wide Web. News reporting is a type of journalism, typically written or broadcast in news style. Most news is investigated and presented by journalists (or reporters) and often distributed via news agencies. If the content of news is significant enough, it eventually becomes history.

“To be considered news, an event usually must have broad interest due to one or more news values:

  • Impact (how many people were, are or will be affected?)
  • Timeliness (did the event occur very recently?)
  • Revelation (is there significant new information, previously unknown?)
  • Proximity (was the event nearby geographically?)
  • Entertainment (does it make for a fun story?)
  • Oddity (was the event highly unusual?)
  • Celebrity (was anyone famous involved?)

“News coverage often includes the “five W’s and the H” — who, what, where, when, why, and how.”

That last news value always upsets me.

So I think the real question is, who decides what the news is?

Does the public decide? With some of the phone calls and press releases I get, I have trouble believing sometimes the general public knows what news is. But granted, we are a hometown newspaper, where hometown events, however small, are important.

Maybe instead, managing editors and publishers who know the business side of the paper should decide what the news is.

Or maybe, we should leave it up to the wide-eyed, green journalism interns.

I don’t know for certain.

I don’t think anyone really knows. But we must keep the discussion open.

John Stewart discusses journalism in his book, “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book): A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction. And Stewart was more than willing to discuss the media with his usual sarcastic wit.

When the U.S.S. Maine was sunk in the late 1800’s, Stewart reports that the papers were more than willing to tell the story as they saw fit.

“The pairs blend of fiction, bigotry and jingoism became known as ‘Yellow Journalism,'” Stewart writes. “Later the term was shortened to ‘Journalism.'”

A free, honest and independent press is essential to democracy.

Without it, we might as well all take out lifetime subscriptions to the Thrifty Nickel.

“By removing the investigative aspect of investigative journalism, today’s modern media finally has the time to pursue the ultimate goal the founding fathers invisioned for news gathering organizations,” Stewart writes. “To raise the stock price of the media empire that owns them.”

Laura Bush at the Correspondent’s Dinner

George and Laura's Christmas
George and Laura Bush | Photo by notionscaptial

If you haven’t seen or heard the Laura Bush clip from the 2005 Correspondent’s Dinner, you can watch the video or read the entire transcript here… Hilarious and great!

Transcript

(via About.com)
Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there. Well, I’ve got a few things I want to say for a change.

This is going to be fun because he really doesn’t have a clue about what I’m gonna’ to say next.

George always says he’s delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney. He’s usually in bed by now.

I’m not kidding.

I said to him the other day, “George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you’re going to have to stay up later.”

I am married to the president of the United States, and here’s our typical evening: Nine o’clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I’m watching Desperate Housewives— with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife. I mean, if those women on that show think they’re desperate, they oughta be with George.

One night, after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendale’s. I wouldn’t even mention it except Ruth Ginsberg and Sandra Day O’Connor saw us there. I won’t tell you what happened, but Lynne’s Secret Service codename is now “Dollar Bill.”

But George and I are complete opposites — I’m quiet, he’s talkative, I’m introverted, he’s extroverted, I can pronounce nuclear —

The amazing thing, however, is that George and I were just meant to be. I was the librarian who speant 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow I met George.

We met, and married, and I became one of the regulars up at Kennebunkport. All the Bushes love Kennebunkport, which is like Crawford, but without the nightlife. People ask me what it’s like to be up there with the whole Bush clan. Lemme put it this way: First prize — three-day vacation with the Bush family. Second prize — 10 days.

Speaking of prizes brings me to my mother-in-law. So many mothers today are just not involved in their children’s lives — Not a problem with Barbara Bush. People often wonder what my mother-in-law’s really like. People think she’s a sweet, grandmotherly, Aunt Bea type. She’s actually more like, mmm, Don Corleone.

Cedric, am I doing all right?

I saw my in-laws down at the ranch over Easter. We like it down there. George didn’t know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don’t have a real strong ranching program. But I’m proud of George. He’s learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What’s worse, it was a male horse.

Now, of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or, as the girls call it, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. George’s answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw — which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well.

It’s always very interesting to see how the ranch air invigorates people when they come down from Washington. Recently, when Vice President Cheney was down, he got up early one morning, he put on his hiking boots, and he went on a brisk, 20- to 30-foot walk.

But actually, in all seriousness, I do love the ranch, and I love the whole Bush family. I was an only child, and when I married into the extended Bush clan, I got brothers and sisters and wonderful in-laws, all of whom opened their arms to me. And included in the package, I got this guy here.

I think when you marry someone, you unconsciously are looking for something in your spouse to help fulfill something in you, and George did that for me. He brought fun and energy into my life and so many other things. George is a very good listener, he’s easy to be around, and on top of it all, he’s a loving father whose daughters absolutely adore him.

So in the future, when you see me just quietly sitting up here, I want you to know that I’m happy to be here for a reason — I love, and enjoy being with, the man who usually speaks to you on these occasions.

So George and I thank you for inviting us, thank you for all of the good work that you and the press do, and thank you for your very kind hospitality this evening.

Another one for the stupid criminals file

T O G E T H E R
Photo by RkRao

CNN reported this weekend that two men who found buried treasure in New England were arrested Thursday.

Apparently they couldnt keep their story straight and the police were suspicious. The police chiefs comments were great. “Had they kept quiet … they probably could have sold the money and no one would have ever known,” Police Chief Joseph E. Solomon said.

But think about it, if you had found “buried treasure” wouldn’t you want to tell the whole world? Sudden fame and riches all in one.

Yet, as Christians we still have the greatest message of all and we’re afraid to tell our neighbors.

Lord help us to be fishers of men.