19 Years Later

Monday, March 21, 2005 began like many others, but it ended in a way I’ve never fully recovered from.

That afternoon, like most, I was at The Belton Journal working on articles for that week’s paper.

Suddenly, I was jolted when I received a phone call from my mom. She was in a panic and didn’t have much to say beyond, “Jonathan, I don’t know what’s going on but pray for your sister, she’s gone code blue.”

I had no idea what that meant or what was happening, but I immediately jumped from my desk and began praying as I walked around downtown Belton. I don’t know what lead me do it or but I can still picture the businesses on Central Ave. as I walked past them that day.

My sister Amy had been in and out of the hospital for most of the month with severe headaches and several seizures. The doctors had done multiple scans and tests and didn’t find a cause until a few days before, when a tumor was discovered on her kidney.

I was planning to drive to Dallas on Saturday to see her, but she assured me she was fine and didn’t want me to go out of my way to drive up to Dallas. She told me they were waiting for some of her meds to leave her system and then they would operate on Monday or Tuesday, and she would look forward to seeing me after she was at home recovering.

I should have made that trip.

By the time I finished my walk, the rest of the week is largely a blur.

I received a call shortly after I walked back into the office that my sister was gone. I assume it was my dad, but I don’t even remember who called or what was said. I just know that at 24 years young, my sister breathed her last breath.

I remember making some arrangements with the staff to have the paper finished and then headed home.

My boss, David Tuma, arrived a short time later, providing some words of encouragement and offering me his credit card – essentially a blank check. He told me to use it for anything I needed that week and to take my family to dinner one night with it. That moment of encouragement, kindness and generosity has stuck with me ever since.

I remember the drive to Dallas with three songs on repeat most of the way, Blessed be the Name by Tree63, My Redeemer Lives by Nicole C Mullen and Praise the King by Cindy Morgan.

To this day every time I hear those songs I think of that drive.

I remember arriving at my grandparent’s house where my family had gathered. Most of the family was in the living room but I found my sister Kara on the back porch with my cousins, and we gave each other a long and needed hug.

I remember visiting the funeral home that week, looking at caskets, writing my sister’s obituary.

I remember a visit from our pastor and my mentor, Charles Diffee. We had a number of visitors that week, but his visit really hit home and meant so much.

I remember how my parent’s church rallied around them that week and for months to come – especially their home team.

We held Amy’s visitation on Friday evening. It was surreal.

I remember my aunt commenting, “I know there must be a God to see my sister stand their all night with such strength.”

On Saturday we held Amy’s funeral. It was also a blur but I remember it was a packed and overflowing service of several hundred at least.

She never considered herself as anyone important and often joked that she would always just be known as my younger sister. And yet, her funeral made it abundantly clear that she had made her own impact in so many small ways, for so many people.

Her colleagues at Presbyterian Hospital had a plaque installed in her memory a short time after her death. There’s a bridge dedicated to her memory at the camp where we spent so many summers.

I still receive notifications of people giving money to our university in her memory.

I’ve been told by several that they pursued a medical career because of her.

Her life may have felt small to her but her impact was beyond imagine.

It rained the day of her funeral, and it rained again on May 22, the day Amy was planning to be married. 

Rainy days in Spring continue to remind me of her.

My children remind me of her.

Tulips remind me of her.

Cooking with a pan she bought me for Christmas reminds me of her.

The pinning ceremony at our college reminds me of her.

Tequila reminds me of her (not that she drank frequently but I did give her her first shot of tequila when she visited me in Belton).

My sister Kara reminds me of her.

Multiple songs remind me of her.

When I’m at a hospital and hear an announcement of “code blue” I’m always reminded of her.

New life and death remind me of her.

It’s been 19 years since I lost my sister. It won’t be long till I will have lived half my life without her.

As CS Lewis writes, “death of a loved one is like an amputation. You never get over it, you just learn to adjust.”

I’m still learning to adjust.

But in the meantime, I keep living the best I can and try and live a life that would make her proud.

Onward. Forward.

Some Thoughts on the First Week of Advent

Hope begins in the dark – Ann Lamott

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness – Desmond Tutu

The first week of Advent is known as a week of hope, prophesy, anticipation and maybe to a lesser extent, a week of patience.

After the Garden of Eden and the flood in Genesis we continue to follow the story of humanity and their response to God.

As time passes we start to zero in on a particular man and a particular family, the family of Abraham.

God promises Abraham he will be the father of many nations and his people will be a blessing to all nations. (Genesis 12:1-3 and 17:3-7)

It’s a message of hope to a man and wife who are convinced they’re too old to have children of their own.

We see this promise continue with Isaac and Jacob (Israel).

This family is then brought into captivity in Egypt and the Egyptian Empire puts their boot on their throat and tries to keep them down for roughly 400 years.

But God continues to bless them and they continue to grow in number.

The odds are stacked against them but they keep hope because of the promise made to their forefathers.

They’re then led out of Egypt with Moses; they wonder the wilderness; they have multiple decisions to follow God or do their own thing … it’s a mixed bag on how they decide.

They finally return to Cannan.

The status quo begins (to an extent) with the Israelites led by a series of judges, including Deborah, Gideon and Samuel … (about 400 years)

But they want more. They want a king.

God warns them that it won’t go well for them … but they keep asking for one and he gives them Saul, then David, then Solomon and his son Rehoboam.

And by the time the fourth king takes the thrown … the Kingdom of Israel is split in two (2nd Chronicles 10).

Israel lasts roughly 165 years before they’re destroyed by Assyria.

Judah lasts about 340 years before they’re taken captive in Babylon (Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego).

The Persian Empire takes over Judea.

Esther saves the Jews and they return home to rebuild the temple and the family of Abraham begins to rebuild.

At this point we don’t have a lot of Biblical insight into what happens but history tells us –

  • Judea is ruled by the Greeks, Egypt and Syria before the Maccabean Revolt (164 BC)
  • Rome rules Judea starting 65 BC
  • Herod the Great rules as the King of the Jews – 37 BC-4 BC

During all of this, the prophets continually speak of a coming Messiah. Someone who would reign from David’s throne and make things right. (2 Samuel 7:12-16) I imagine the people continued to hang on to these words, year after year.

Isaiah also gives us a lot of prophecies about the coming Messiah. He’s a prophet to Judah – likely between 740 BC and 680 BC. He strongly encourages the people of Judah NOT to put their faith in their kings, their alliances with Egypt or other nations. Their only hope was their faith in Yahweh.

In Isaiah 8, Isaiah warns that Assyria will invade the land … but he tells the people, don’t lose hope. (Isaiah 9:1-7)

Later on Isaiah promises that the Messiah would proclaim good news to the poor. (Isaiah 61:1-7)

He also promises greatness for God’s people. (Isaiah 62:1-12)

So we have a people who know the ins and outs of conflict. They’re camping out in all this conflict with just the glimmer of hope that came from their prophets.

They’re begging God for help.

They thought their kings would bring hope.

They thought rebuilding the temple would bring hope.

They thought the Maccabean Revolt might bring hope.

And their prophets keep telling them … just hold tight …

Just wait a bit longer …

A Messiah is coming …

And there’s a lot of pain …

But it’s always the darkest before the dawn …

Responsive Tables (with … or without Bootstrap)

An HTML/CSS only responsive table example
An HTML/CSS only table on a desktop.

I’ve never been a big fan of HTML tables. They take forever to code, they tend to have accessibility issues and they’re typically horrible on smaller screens.

However, sometimes you just can’t get around them.

If you’re using Bootstrap, there’s a out-of-the box fix, using .table-responsive. This utilizes an overflow and lets the table scroll left to right on smaller screens … but … I’ve never been a fan.

It’s not the most user friendly option and if you try to print the table, it almost always gets cut off (since you can’t scroll on a piece of paper).

There are javascript options as well … but … I’ve never been a fan of those either. I always prefer to keep things simple with HTML and CSS if possible.

So I’ve put together a basic option that uses a simple CSS solution, with:100% and display:block.

An HTML/CSS responsive table on a mobile device

You can set it up with a single media query or I’ve modeled my solution to match the Bootstrap breakpoints.

So for each breakpoint here’s the code for screens below 575px wide:


@media screen and (max-width: 575px) {
.table-xs-responsive th, .table-xs-responsive td {
width: 100% !important;
display: block !important;
box-sizing:border-box;
}
}

Note: I include border-box on the CMS I’m working with as it defaults to box-sizing: content-box

View the code on Codepen

See the Pen Responsive Table (with Bootstrap) by Jonathan Blundell (@jdblundell) on CodePen.

Of course the one downside to this solution is the table headers don’t follow the content as you scroll on your mobile device but for most of our tables that’s typically not an issue.

What do you think? Have you found a better solution for responsive tables?

Bono & David Tyler: Beyond the Psalms

Last year, Fuller Theological Seminary released a series of videos documenting a conversation between Bono and Eugene Peterson. They talked at Peterson’s home about the Psalms. It’s a great video series.

Today they launched a new collection of videos, highlighting a conversation between Bono and Fuller professor of theology and culture David Taylor.

It’s good.

I don’t really believe in (death) anymore. It has no power over me as when I was 14 years old. And it’s unpleasant for the people we leave behind or if we’re left behind. But it isn’t unpleasant for the soul, to now find it’s true meaning.

Psalm 82 is a good start

Where the song is singing to me

Be brutally honest

All art is prophetic

Where Death Died

When you’re done watching, check out the related Spotify playlist as well.