1 more week! We will finally meet little miss next Week! This is going to be one of the longest weeks of my life…I better think of things to keep me busy.  The majority of stuff for her is done, we are just playing the waiting game now.  The car seat base is installed in my car, her room is done (I promise I’ll post pictures of her nursery soon), bottles and such are put away in the kitchen, the only thing left to do is wash one more load of clothes for her and put them away.  We are having our carpets cleaned tomorrow – you know, so we can get them ready for another baby to spit up on!

The boys keep talking about “Baby …” and know that all the baby stuff we have is for her.  I know they really don’t know whats about to happen, but hopefully it won’t be horribly rude awakening when she comes home.  We , or should I say I, keep going back and forth on when we will let them meet her for the first time.  I said I didn’t want them to meet her until the next day because I will be just out of surgery, still groggy and half asleep with an IV and can’t move from the waist down.  But we also want them to be the first ones to meet her…..its a huge dilemma and I have no clue what we’ll do.  I just say we’ll see how I feel the day she is born and go from there.

I have been off work since last Tuesday and have had a lot of help from Jonathan, my mom and Jonathan’s mom.  I definitely don’t need to be alone with the boys by myself all day long.  I am trying to rest as much as possible but it is kind of hard when you have two 2 year olds in the house.  Jonathan has been on dad duty every saturday and sunday morning for the last several weeks and I can’t thank him enough for letting me sleep in, or at least try to, while he takes the boys to the park, to get donuts, etc.  He has done a great job with them and the boys love their time spent with dad!

Here is one of the last surveys I’ll do!

When I was pregnant with the boys I wrote a letter to them that one day I’ll show them. You can read that letter here.   Well I thought I should do the same for little miss.  It was interesting writing this letter because this time I am writing it as a parent already.  When I wrote the boys’ letter, I had no clue what being a parent would be like or feel like.  So with this one, I had a whole new perspective.

To my sweet girl, Harper:

You are a dream come true, already.  Your dad and I thought we were unable to have our own children, but after a couple years of praying and trusting in God we were blessed with your amazing big brothers, Hayden and Ian.  Then a few years later, we were in awe to find out God wasn’t done with our family just yet, because He blessed us with you.

Its hard to believe I am going to have 3 children, and as much excitement as that brings, it also brings a lot of fear.  I know I have enough love for each of you, I always will! But trying to figure out how to spend time with each of you individually to show you just how much I love you is what I fear.  Your brothers each have a unique relationship with me and your dad and we show them we love them differently, in ways that work for them.  I know we will have a unique and different relationship with you as well, and I look forward to seeing that relationship grow.

It is my job to prepare you for life, just as your grandparents prepared your dad and me (and I think they did an Awesome job!). You were gifted to us by God to show you the way. I will not always be your favorite person and sometimes you may not even like me, and that’s ok.  There will be times that I am angry with you. Be angry, but be honest with yourself and know that even when I am angry with you – I still love you. The love I have for you can never be broken or taken away from you. It is a constant you can always count on.  I am your friend and biggest fan…but, first and foremost, I am your mother. I will not be a yes-woman that always agrees with you just so you like me. When I say no to a request, I am doing it because I love you. I am not ruining your life. You will survive missing a few parties or whatever the case may be.

I hope you learn how to be your own person.  See yourself through your own eyes. Don’t let other people’s notions of who you should be change your view of yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to; ANYTHNG.  Which leads me to the next thing – there is no single person who can be your everything. Be very careful about bestowing this power on any one person.  Trying to fill an emptiness or ache with other people (or with anything else, like food, alcohol, drugs, boys or a zillion other things) is a lost cause, and nobody will be up to the task.  You will feel let down, and worse, that loneliness will still be there no matter what.  Let Christ fill that void, He is the only one up to the task!

You are beautiful. I may be biased because you are a part of me, but my love, you are. Beauty is subjective. Don’t let superficial standards of this world affect how you feel about yourself. You were made to stand out, not fit in….you don’t want to be like everyone else anyway.  You are uniquely you and we love it! Don’t get so caught up in things like vanity and materialism that you forget who you are, your values, your morals; how you treat people is infinitely more important. Enjoy nice things when you have them and don’t get depressed when you don’t. Your value lies outside of things.

Be kind. Be respectful. Show grace.

Love always wins, and Daddy and I will always love you. This world will give you hurt and pain, struggle and triumph, but, in the end, you will see love always wins. When you are having a fight with a friend, a struggle with a boy, or when you fall down as a toddler or even as an adult, always remember, Love will win and pick you up.

Talk to God.  Trust God.  Lean on God.  The world is a scary place but God will protect you, always, even in your darkest hour. God’s timing is always right; never doubt that.

Do what you love for work. You will be born with wonderful talents, individual to you and your needs and desires. Follow whatever path those talents take you on and chase them. There is a certain passion and purpose you are given when you work in a capacity that allows you to utilize the gifts that God gave you.  Don’t be afraid to share your passions, they are what make you, you.

Love. Romantic love. This could be a whole book.  No one completes you. You are enough. You want someone to compliment you, not complete you!  Love does not hurt. If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. If they put you down, they aren’t for you. Heartbreak is not the end of the world. It is a break up, not a breakdown. You will survive a broken heart.  Find the one you can’t live without.  The one who makes you want to be a better person.  The one who builds you up instead of tears you down.  Live life before you get married, find out who you are and what you want out of life.  Take all the time you need to find your “one”…and I can almost guarantee you, you won’t find him in high school!

As the saying goes, knowledge is power.  It truly is, you won’t get very far in life without it.  Take advantage of every opportunity you can to gain more knowledge and education.  Never stop learning.  Don’t become idle, learn something new everyday.  Find a passion and learn everything you can about it.

Don’t just be nice to your brothers. Be their best friend, their biggest supporter and their most constructive critic. You will be grateful they are your brothers in time, and you will all three need each other one day. (You need each other now, too!)

I know I’m not perfect and I will make mistakes, but I promise you, I will try my hardest to be the best mother I can be to you and your brothers.  I may not always show it, but everyday I will love you with every fiber of my being.  No matter what.

I can honestly say that I am living a fairy tale, my happily ever after.  I married my prince charming, started a little family with two amazing sons and now a beautiful daughter.  So with the addition of you my love, my fairy tale is that much sweeter!

Love you always,

Mom

P.S. Don’t grow up too fast! I told this to your brothers too, but apparently they didn’t listen because the last (almost) 3 years have flown by!