Hayden & Ian @ 7 weeks

The boys had their 2 month check up this week with the pediatrician. They are growing like weeds! Here are their 2 month stats:

Hayden: 9lbs, 6oz and 20.75 inches long
Ian: 9lbs, 1.5oz and 20.25 inches long

Their weight gain, growth, head control, etc. was all on track for their age and unfortunately this was the check up that they got their shots. They did great though! We discussed a few issues that we have been having and left with a plan for both boys.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, both boys have had some issues with reflux and formula. We switched both boys to Elecare, a hypoallergenic formula, and started them on Zantac for the reflux.

Well Hayden has done exceptionally well with the Zantac and formula and we were certain that all his issues were just the reflux, not a formula issue. So we asked the pedi if we could try a regular sensitive formula and she said we can and if he doesn’t tolerate it (which we should know within about 2 or 3 bottles) we’ll just switch back to the Elecare. Well he has had the regular formula for about 48 hours and been doing great on it. So that means now we only have one boy on the expensive stuff.

Hayden was positioned really low in utero and basically stuck there so he didn’t change positions at all. Because of this, he now has a 1/2 flattened, 1/2 misshaped head in the back and tends to not turn his head to the left and tilts it to the right pretty much all the time. So we are being referred to cranial technologies for an evaluation for physical therapy on his neck muscles and whether or not he will need a DocBand (helmet) for his head. So basically he switched his expensive formula for an expensive helmet and therapy. But that’s ok, he’s totally worth it!

Ian has been our problem child lately, not with his behavior or anything, he’s a great baby, but he’s been having a lot of feeding issues. He has reflux as well so he is on Zantac too and still on Elecare. His reflux has gotten a little better now that he is on Zantac but his feeding issues are still the same as before he on was Elecare. So now we aren’t sure if it is a formula issue or something else going on. We just increased his Zantac to three times a day to see if that helped and if it doesn’t help by Friday (tomorrow) then we are to call the pedi back and she will send us to a gastrointerologist at Childrens. Of course I would just assume go somewhere else other than children’s, but I know they have good doctors there and I won’t hinder my child’s care just because of feelings I have towards a hospital.

Despite Ian not eating as much as he was and having his feeding issues, he is clearly gaining weight so that’s the good news. Hopefully we can get some answers as to what Ian’s issue is and get it fixed soon. We are about at our witts end and not sure what to do. It would be one thing if that was our only child to deal with, but while dealing with him, we still have another baby that needs our attention and we can’t give 100% to either one.

The pedi told us we can let the boys sleep through the night without getting them up to eat and that was music to our ears. We knew Hayden would do ok with that since he has only been drinking about an ounce or two in the middle of the night and sleeping through that. But Ian won’t have anything to do with that. We aren’t going to push it right now though because of his feeding issues. He doesn’t take that much at once anymore so it’s not enough to hold him all night. Hayden will take 6 ounces at 9:00 PM and then sleep until 5:00 AM when we get him up to eat again. He has done this for the last 3 nights and it has been sooo nice! Now we only have to deal with one baby at 1 AM and it cuts our middle of the night feeding times in half!! So thank you Hayden!

We will go back for another check up at 4 months and see how much they have grown, can’t wait!

When a baby comes along it can rule the roost. When they are a newborn/infant, your schedule basically revolves around when they eat and sleep. I have been asked by many people, “How do you do it?” or they simply say “I don’t know how you do it!” It’s simple, we just do…just like Nike. We have no other choice, they are our babies and we will do anything for them.

When we found out we were having twins, we knew it was going to take a lot of work and there would be challenges along the way. Little did we know we would be completely and utterly drained! But more on that later.

I’ve read a lot of books like Baby Wise, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby, etc. While they all have good advise, I didn’t agree 100% with one specific method, but a little of each one. I liked the schedule of eating from Baby Wise, but I liked the sleep methods from Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby.

So to answer the question a lot of people ask, this is how we “do it” or manage with twins. It won’t work for everyone and I’m not saying this is the only way to do it but it’s what works for us.

SCHEDULE!

This is the biggest key to keeping your sanity with multiples. There are two different approaches when it comes to feeding your baby, Parent Directed Feeding (PDF) or Demand Feeding. What’s the difference? With demand feeding, you feed the baby whenever he/she is hungry. This means they could eat every 1.5 hours if they want, or go 4 hours if they want. They could eat 1 ounce at one feeding and then 4 ounces at the next. There simply is no consistency. With PDF the parent sets when the baby will eat. Baby Wise puts it like this…”Both the variable of hunger cues and the constant of time guide parents at each feeding. The parents’ role is that of mediating between both the cue and the clock…using parental assessment to decide when to feed based on actual need”

With PDF you encourage full feedings to help prevent inconsistent and overly frequent feedings. You feed baby when baby is hungry, but you evaluate the situation if baby is hungry much sooner than usual (is baby in a growth spurt? was the previous feeding not a full feeding?). You also wake up baby when it has been so many hours since his last feeding (anywhere from 2-4 hours). This helps to reduce the risk of not feeding a sickly or extremely tired baby enough, and it also helps organize baby’s night and days to encourage better night time sleep. In the end, baby ends up getting just as much milk during a 24 hours period as a “demand fed” baby, but it is simply redistributed to less, but full, feedings.

Our babies came home from the hospital on a 3 hour feeding schedule but was able to move to a 4 hour schedule at their 2 week check up since they had surpassed their birth weight. We always check with our pediatrician before doing anything to their feeding schedule to ensure proper weight gain.

If you know me, you probably know that I like a structured schedule. I like to know what’s next or what to expect. But at the same time I’m flexible and can adjust it whenever needed, I’m not strict when it comes to this schedule.

We chose to do the PDF which will keep the boys on a schedule. We decided to keep the babies on a structured routine which includes flexible scheduled feedings. This means we have the boys on a schedule of eating at 5:00am, 9:00am, 1:00pm, 5:00am, and 9:00pm but we adjust it if necessary. If one of the boys is fussy or acting hungry (during a growth spurt this is going to happen) we will feed them early. We have fed them 2 hours after a feeding before. If we do this, we just go ahead and feed them again at their next scheduled feeding (even if it is in 2 hours). They may not eat the whole amount they normally eat but they will be back on schedule.

The book Baby Wise states that “How you choose to feed your baby will have a profound effect on your child’s hunger patterns, sleep patterns, and basic disposition.” I totally agree with this.

The biggest reason to have a good feeding schedule is because our basic goal is to have our babies well rested and develop good sleeping habits as they get older. To do this you need to have an established feeding schedule. Newborns really have no sleep schedule, they sleep whenever they want all throughout the day. Their nervous systems aren’t developed enough to have a set schedule until around 6-8 weeks or sometimes longer. Since ours were early, it will probably be around 10-12 weeks. Since our babies are still only 7 weeks (adjusted age of 4 weeks) We will soon try to work on a sleep schedule and hopefully start to develop good sleep habits. But of course, we will check with our pediatrician before we try to exclude any nighttime feedings in order to get a better sleep schedule.

Other than a feeding and sleeping schedule, there are many other ways to keep your sanity — or lose it — when parenting multiples.

You suddenly can’t just pick up and go at a moments notice. There is definitely no going anywhere at a moments notice with a baby, much less TWO. It now takes us at least 15 minutes to gather everything, put two babies in their car seats and put them and all their stuff in the car, before going anywhere. This hasn’t stopped us from going places, it just unfortunately slows us down ;). We’ve known people that just stopped going places when they had a baby because either they just didn’t want to deal with all that or well, they just didn’t want to deal with all that. And, that’s not a bad thing, it’s just not us.

We don’t want a baby (or babies) to run our lives, yeah they may eat at a certain time but we prepare for it. If we are out at 1:00 when they are scheduled to eat, we’ll feed them wherever we are…if we are going to a place that we know won’t be conducive to feeding a baby we won’t go at that particular time. We have gone to a doctors appointment an hour earlier than scheduled before just so we can feed them there and keep them on their same eating schedule. You can’t (or I can’t) stay locked up in your house because you don’t want to throw your baby off their schedule. You’d go crazy!

Another really big key to how we manage is that my husband and I work as a team. I am fortunate enough that my husband is willing and able to help out whenever I need him to. When we are both home, we each take a baby and feed them so it doesn’t take as long. We divide up the night time feedings so neither of us are completely sleep deprived.

Yes, we are sleep deprived, just not as much as we would be if I were doing all the night time feedings or if he were.

We also rely on family. Our parents (mainly moms) have been wonderful and kept the babies if and when we needed them to. There have been many occasions that we needed to run an errand that would be very difficult to take the babies along and they watched them for us. Tonight they are each going to take a baby for us for the entire night so we can get some much needed sleep. We can’t tell you how much we appreciate this and how much we need it! Jonathan’s sister has also offered to watch them while we just go eat and get away for a few hours…that was great to be able to do.

Those are the biggest factors in keeping us sane and how we manage with twins as we go through the newborn stage.

I’ll admit, we don’t have it all together, there’s still lots to learn and we don’t get through the day 100% frustration free, and there are definitely those points during the day that I’m sure we both want to just give up. But we don’t because we love our boys and want the best for them!

…are the devil or an angel, whichever way you look at it. Our boys LOVE their pacifiers…no, I take that back, they are addicted to their pacifiers.

I’m not against pacifiers but I’m also not a big proponent for them.

I don’t mind them so much when babies are in the newborn/infant stage, its when they get to be toddlers that I think you need to limit their usage.

And I’m sure that if you asked my parents, they would say I liked my pacifier just as much as our boys. Pictures that my parents have of me when I was little showed me with a pacifier in my mouth and one in my hand, just in case something happened to the one in my mouth 😉

Hayden & Ian the pacifier addicts

Overall, our boys are pretty content and happy babies, but when that pacifier falls out…oh no, the world has come to an end.

Ian doesn’t mind not having the pacifier as much as Hayden and that probably stems from the very beginning of life. Hayden was in the NICU and under an oxyhood so he really couldn’t be comforted other than stroking his hand, leg, etc. He wasn’t able to be held for much of his first week of life.

But he did take a pacifier and this calmed him down when he got upset in the NICU and it was really the only way to soothe him at this point and because of that, he got used to it and now naturally loves it. Because of that, I don’t want to just take the pacifier away, that would be down right mean!

Ian on the other hand was given a pacifier by a nurse in the new baby nursery at the hospital, not by us. He was also able to be soothed by us when he got upset so he didn’t have that need for a pacifier in the early days. But he does like it and like I said, I’m not against pacifier use, so if it helps him sleep, be soothed, etc. I’m ok with it.

Another issue, is that the boys are also at that stage where their need to suckle is at it’s peak and their pediatrician told us they have the strongest sucking reflex she has seen!

In the end, I guess there are both pros and cons to pacifier use.

Babies that use pacifiers tend to be able to put themselves back to sleep easier than those that don’t use them because they don’t have to be soothed by being rocked back to sleep. The downside to this is when their pacifier falls out, you get to go back in the room to put it back in their mouth….and that game could last forever, and be repeated over and over again.

This is the biggest issue with pacifier use, once it falls out, you get to go and put it back in their mouth. We do this ALL day long, and seems to be every 5 minutes.

So like I mentioned earlier, pacifiers are the devil or an angel, depending on how you look at it. In all honesty, I’m not sure which scenario is better but in our house, pacifiers work.

What do you think?