This just in…

Here are some of the latest rumors circling the web today…

  • MacBook Air includes secret filter to block all references to Ron Paul
  • Blood was digitally removed from There Will Be Blood
  • Patton Oswalt has signed a two-year contract with the Baltimore Ravens
  • ABC announced George Lucas‘s Matrix Babies coming this fall
  • Report links Alvin, Simon to performance-enhancing helium
  • The Dinobots will be voiced by the Wu Tang Clan
  • They shot that tiger because it knew Tom Cruise was gay
  • Islanders on “Lost” to adopt adorable, wisecracking orphan cousin
  • No new Garfield movie until 2011
  • B.A. Baracus played in new A-Team movie by Marcus Carl Franklin, Ben Whishaw, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Richard Gere, and Cate Blanchett
  • New Radiohead video available only as an animated GIF
  • Hillary Clinton thinks Batman Forever got everything right
  • Peter Parker is going to start failing Chemistry so kids can better relate to the character
  • iPhone tells Diane Sawyer of Jobs’s “inappropriate touching”
  • There are too many pop culture references in Internet lists

Now granted, these are just rumors – but don’t say I didn’t tell you so.