Our storm

Well, to update everyone on “the baby project”, sadly there are still no real updates to report.

Laurie does have another great post over on her blog (which inspired this one), that touches on many of things we’re thinking about/struggling through.

I did have the unique experience of getting to have a test of my own last week at the doctor’s office.

(TMI alert after the jump ::)

You know you’re in for a different type of doctor’s appointment when you’re left in a room alone and the instructions on the form say “Feel free to use the ‘help kit’ if needed.”

The lab tech began by setting a cup on the counter, telling me to fill out the form and that the rest was pretty self-explanatory.

I really wanted to look at him and ask, “What do you mean? What am I supposed to do? My wife just said I had a doctor’s appointment.”

I could go on, but I’ll leave it at that here on the blog.

Regardless, the test results came back normal. Part of me was relieved, but it also bothered me as well. It makes me hurt that much more for Laurie. I was hopping I could shoulder some of “the blame” for our struggles with infertility. I continue to hope and pray she doesn’t find fault or blame herself for any of this.

She’s remained a rock throughout all of this though — just like always (minus a Facebook post here or there that may have had a couple people worried :-).)

I firmly believe that just as she wrote on her blog, this ordeal is (and will) growing us closer together. It may feel like us against the world sometimes, but as long as we’re facing it together, I’m OK with that.

We don’t know what tomorrow holds.

We do however know that after two rounds of fertility medicine and a number of doctors appointments we’re still waiting, hoping and praying to conceive a child biologically. We also know that for most agencies you have to be married for at least three years before you adopt (we’re reaching the 2.5 year mark) and any private or international adoption can easily cost $15-$35,000.

I believe that while we always thought we would adopt later on, we’ve both come to a point where we’ll be thrilled in whatever way God decides to bless our family with children. Whether it’s biological, through foster to adoption, domestic adoption or even international adoption, we can’t wait. However, it’s obviously not God’s timing yet and he wants us to wait a bit longer. So we’ll keep trying and keep praying.

I’m so thankful to have some great friends, like Todd and Monja who have gone through similar situations as well after the birth of their first son and have adopted two wonderful children and are in the process of trying to adopt a third (the sister of their youngest.)

It’s also great to make new friends like Scott and Rachel who have shared their own stories of adoption with us. They’ve just adopted their third international child.

Both Todd and Monja as well as Scott and Rachel have helped us understand the adoption process and have helped dispel some of the many myths we’ve heard.

In addition, sites like the Abba Fund blog and others have also been a huge help in informing and encouraging me.

And of course, even closer to home, its great to see my sister so gung-ho about adoption for both her and Tim, as well as helping others along the way. And its been great to have supportive parents (on both sides) as well.

But we haven’t given up hope yet on any front. There’s still plenty of time before we can actually move forward towards adoption, and the rest of our lives for us to have a biological child (hey Sara was in her 90’s :-).) So we’ll keep waiting, keep praying and keep learning all that God has for us to learn in the process.

And hope that you’ll join with us as well… oh and then there’s that house thing you can be praying about too… 🙂