“Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained” – C.S. Lewis
One year ago today I made a pledge and vow before (at that time) Laurie Janine Turner, before God and “all these witness” that I would love, cherish and adore Laurie as my partner and my friend.
I’ve learned a lot in the past 365 days. Most of what I learned was from the shared life experiences over the past year.
I think first and foremost I’ve learned that marriage is not a 50/50 partnership. It’s as Brian puts it, a 100/100 relationship. And even when you might feel like its more 100/50 or 100/0 Scripture still tells us to give that full 100% – and more – I only wish I could give more.
I think we typically want to approach marriage (and any other relationship) as “what can I get out of this?” but Scripture calls us to “lay down your life for one another.” Not only when you’re getting your way. Not only when things are happy-go-lucky. But day in and day out when the muck really hits the fan.
And I must add, that while we shouldn’t go seeking our own benefits in a marriage, I’m lucky enough to say that I enjoy every day I’m married to Laurie. And makes it so much easier to love her with her grace, mercy and gentle spirit. Her love outshines mine each and every day.
She understands me in many ways that no one else can. She accepts my flaws and mistakes with true love and grace. She brings me joy and laughter. Smiles and gladness. She makes me earnestly want to be a better man and husband. She encourages me and lifts me up and always has my best in mind.
And even with all this new knowledge and understanding I’ve learned over the last year (and what I’m certain is much much more to learn and understand) I can say this again today with even more boldness and clarity and understanding than I did on April 28, 2007 ::
“Laurie Janine Blundell, you are my wife. I love you as Christ loved the church. I respect, comfort and love you. And in the presence of God and before our family and friends, I have choosen you Laurie to be my wife and I promise you these things: I will laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams, and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement. I will help you when you need it, and step aside when you don’t. I will remain faithful to you for better or worse, in times of sickness and health. You are my best friend, and I will love and respect you always.”
