Tag: marriage

Our story: past, present and future

Yesterday at encounter we shared some our story from the last couple years of our lives — including our struggles with infertility, moving and such.

Dave and Kari McHam also shared their amazing story as well.
Continue reading Our story: past, present and future

Dealing with the pain of infertility

pain by trying2

I’ve really been impressed and appreciative of all the things Jason Kovacs does. It’s been great getting to know him and his ministry over the last several months via his blogs and Twitter (@jasonkovacs).

Last week, Jason shared a great post on what he learned from the story of Hannah (1 Samuel 1) and her husband in Scripture…

Hannah taught me that it is natural for a woman to desire to have children. Woman all around the world can relate to her. My wife painfully longed to be a mother. Initially I didn’t know what to do with her emotional response to not being pregnant. To me it seemed so disproportionate to how I felt…. I felt like Hannah’s husband, who said to her: “why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” That approach didn’t work in Hannah’s day and it still doesn’t work today.

I ditto that statement. I will never fully understand the pain and sadness that Laurie feels as we struggle with our infertility. Yes, my heart hurts because we haven’t been able to get pregnant — but my desire is no where near that of Laurie’s.
Continue reading Dealing with the pain of infertility

Ethics question of the day

So a same sex couple in New Mexico wanted to have a commitment ceremony.
They started looking for a photographer and contacted one via e-mail.
In returned they received: “We do not photograph same-sex weddings. But thanks for checking out our site! Have a great day!”
The couple was hurt, devastated and apparently angry. They sued the photographer for discrimination.
At the hearing, the photographer said that when he and his wife formed the company two years ago, they made it company policy not to shoot same-sex ceremonies, because the ceremonies conflicted with their Christian beliefs.
“We wanted to make sure that everything we photographed — everything we used our artistic ability for, everything we told a story for or conveyed a message of — would be in line with our values and our beliefs,” he said.
The couple won the case and the photographer was forced to pay the $6,600 in attorney fees.
Who was in the right here? Was anyone? What would you have done if you had been the photographer? What would you have done if you had been the couple?
How do you think Jesus would have handled the situation?

Listen to the full story.

things you learn

Laurie shared a list of the things she’s learned over the last year on over on her blog and challenged me to do the same. So, never one to back down to (most) challenges here we go…

  • Men and women’s clothes are different (or soft water does a crazy number on clothes). While I can do my laundry for years upon years by throwing it all in the same load of wash on cold water and never have an issue, if you add a red shirt of your wives into the mix, your wives shirt will take over and dye all the other clothes with its red dye. The same applies for red towels you may have received as a wedding gift.
  • The house is always dirtier or messier than you realize.
  • You always have more money than you think you do.
  • If you make the mistake of keeping score for any period of time – you’ll quickly realize you’re loosing the contest.
  • There are different unwritten dress codes for weddings – all depending on what time of day the wedding is held and where it is held. Flip flops are very very very rarely OK to wear to weddings and baseball caps are out of the question.
  • Women don’t always need things fixed like men think they do. Your wife may come home and complain about 20 things at work. Your mind may instantly go into repair mode and without much trouble at all you’ve found a logical solution to the problem and go into a 12-step program to fix everything in the next 5 minutes. She doesn’t care. She just (most of the time) wants you to listen. If she wanted to know how to fix it, she would have said, “I need you to fix this for me.” This will only be said when there’s a jar that cannot be opened, a computer that’s not working correctly, there’s a problem with the entertainment system, the car is making a funny sound, or when you’ve really messed something up.
  • Communication is KEY. When your wife says, “I don’t want you to have to do that” she means “Under no circumstances should you do that” not “I’d prefer you chose to do that differently.”
  • “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” Sometimes when you get a great idea of washing a paint sprayer in the sink, so that you can clean each piece thoroughly and avoid getting soap and oil stain on the fairly new grass, one bad squirt of that spayer can make your idea look like the worst idea to come around these here parts.
  • All You Need is Love. Some might argue there’s more to marriage and life – but when you really get down to it – when two people truly love each other – that’s all you really need. Love can overcome any error, any mistake and any challenge. And it’s great to know that when you misunderstand what your wife said or your best laid plan goes awry – you still have a wife who loves you for reasons you’ll never understand and your love for her is the same.

Of course most of these things are said in jest. I can’t think of living my life when anyone other than Laurie. She thrills my heart each and every day.

Huckabee: Marriage not 50/50

Love this answer from Huckabee last night – he was asked about an add that ran in the NY Times talking about women submitting to their husband.

“Marriage is not a 50/50 deal where each partner gets 50%. Biblically marriage is a 100/100 deal where each partner gives 100% of their devotion to each other. That’s why marriage is an important institution because it teaches us how to love.”