When I think about love and what true love means, my heart, mind and soul always go back to the points in my life where I’ve screwed up… when I did something wrong… when I realized I made a mistake… and someone took the time to show me grace and compassion.
I’ve been lucky to have several moments like that in my life. I know others aren’t as lucky.
Perhaps that’s put a rose-tinted lens on my view of love, but I think its truer, more beautiful (and more biblical) view of what love really is.
You see, anyone can point out our mistakes. (Ever watch the pundits on cable TV?)
But it takes something special, something extraordinary to look beyond a person’s failings and offer grace and compassion instead.
It’s easy for me walk away when someone’s hurt me or done me wrong — but far harder to stay by someone’s side and forgive them 70 times 7.
It’s easier for me to cast judgment and ignore someone for their past — but far harder to see real beauty in their life and the potential they have within them.
It takes a power outside of me to love the un-loved. It takes a power outside of me to forgive when I’ve been wronged. It takes a power outside of me to love the friend who’s stabbed me in the back over and over again.
My standard response is to cast a judgment over someone quick enough that I can make excuses for why I shouldn’t have to get to know them or love them.
But in the movie, “Lord Save Us From Your Followers,” (which is now available for instant viewing on Netflix) Tony the Beat Poet makes the point, “If we love somebody — we go out of our way to find out who they are.”
And I don’t think that means, we go out of our way to find out all their faults and mistakes and screw-ups. I think it means we go out of our way to find the beauty that’s inside of them.
Now does that mean we ignore every wrong we see?
I don’t think so.
I think we can all agree that there is a time and place where wrongs, mistakes and even sins should be discussed.
But I don’t think it’s in the judgmental, condemning ways we’ve become accustomed to — and quite honestly I think the Holy Spirit does a fine job of convicting people and doesn’t need my help at all.
In my mind, I see the Church functioning best when lay down our swords, turn them into plowshares and begin to wrestle with the struggles of life together.
And to me, that’s a people starting out, by offering a space of grace. A space where you’re free to be yourself, express your doubt, express your frustrations, talk about the issues you’re dealing with and know that you won’t be condemned or shunned by anyone because of your decisions in life. And a space where everyone is honest, authentic and open before they start expecting it of others.
Think of an AA meeting. No one is expected to talk and share until they’re comfortable with the group. And that level of comfortableness comes from the honesty, authenticity and grace of others.
Secondly, I see us taking those spaces of grace and being intentional about the relationships within our spheres of influence. We make a point to meet with friends over coffee. We make it a point to invite someone over to dinner. We make it a point to break bread together. We make it a point to grow our relationships.
And finally, I see us sharing relevant truth with one another. This is where the Holy Spirit can do some really cool things. Because we’ve been intentional about our relationships and because we’ve built our relationships around love and not condemnation, people tend to be far more willing to listen to truth than when they’ve had their faults flaunted in front of them (at least I know I have).
And it’s in these moments that I’ve seen the Holy Spirit do some really cool things.
Suddenly, I’m sharing something that I’m wrestling with — and before you know it, three other guys in the group are realizing they’re dealing with the exact same issue and they admit their own struggles and failings. And then we wrestle with the Truth together and find out how to really apply to our own personal situations.
And it’s in those moments of wrestling together that we learn to love even deeper, we learn to encourage even move and we learn to see how broken and desperate we all are.
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.
We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
