Finding real life

This morning Brian laid a challenging discussion on us. Are you finding real life?

We started off with a look at things we want people to focus on…

  • my temptations
  • my relationships
  • my joys
  • my thoughts
  • my fears
  • my desires
  • my walk with God
  • my questions
  • my needs
  • my feelings
  • my goals
  • my dreams
  • my longings
  • my hopes
  • my hurts
  • my past

We’re always looking for people to fulfill those areas of our lives. We want to be understood. We want to be listened to. We want to be fulfilled. We want to be accepted. We want others to fill those areas in us.

Yes – that goes for me for sure.

But Scripture tells us, “For whoever will save his life shall lose it; but whoever shall lose his life for My sake and the Gospel’s, he shall save it.” Mark 8:35

And, “Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.” 1 Cor 10:24

So what if we took that list and looked instead to fulfilling those needs in others?

Like our wife. Our kids (for those of you with em). Our parents. Our family. Our friends. Our co-workers.

Would we even know how to do that? Do we even know what they need when it comes to…

  • their temptations
  • their relationships
  • their joys
  • their thoughts
  • their fears
  • their desires
  • their walk with God
  • their questions
  • their needs
  • their feelings
  • their goals
  • their dreams
  • their longings
  • their hopes
  • their hurts
  • their past

I humbly submit that I could probably only answer 40-50% or so of those correctly for the people in my life. Probably less for many others.

Why is that? I could blame them and say, “Well they’re just not open enough. They’re just not sharing enough. They don’t want me to know.”

But I’m pretty sure the onus is on me. It’s up to ME. If they’re not giving “the right answers” then I’m not asking “the right questions.”

If we all live for ourselves and what we can get out of the deal – nobody wins. But if we can give of our lives for the sake of others – we all win.

A closing thought (a re-tweet) from @aaronaiken this morn :: Spend 1% of your time staying informed on the world, and 99% improving your world and you won’t even remember this recession.

I’d suggest changing the phrasing slightly to “99% improving THE world” but you get the idea.

What say you? Anyone figured out how to do this well? Anyone know of someone doing this well?

Published by

Jonathan Blundell

I'm a husband, father of three, blogger, podcaster, author and media geek who is hoping to live a simple life and follow The Way.

4 thoughts on “Finding real life”

  1. Great thoughts. It reminded me of an “award” we had at Higher Ground leadership camp in Golden, Mo. It was called the “I am Third” award. You achieved this award if you: put Christ first, others second, and yourself third. It also reminds me of a diagram I studied in Christian Psych in high school. It was a drawing of a target, large rings on the outside getting smaller and smaller eventually leading to the bullz-eye. The center of the drawing, the smallest circle, was GOD (representing God at the center of our lives). If we have GOD in the center, everything else, all of the rings outside of the bullz-eye, will be directed by GOD (if we listen).

    Both of these examples seem to have been burned onto my mind, yet I have such a difficult time living them out.

    Great post.

  2. Great thoughts. It reminded me of an “award” we had at Higher Ground leadership camp in Golden, Mo. It was called the “I am Third” award. You achieved this award if you: put Christ first, others second, and yourself third. It also reminds me of a diagram I studied in Christian Psych in high school. It was a drawing of a target, large rings on the outside getting smaller and smaller eventually leading to the bullz-eye. The center of the drawing, the smallest circle, was GOD (representing God at the center of our lives). If we have GOD in the center, everything else, all of the rings outside of the bullz-eye, will be directed by GOD (if we listen).

    Both of these examples seem to have been burned onto my mind, yet I have such a difficult time living them out.

    Great post.

  3. No, I am not good at it but I would like to be. I really like the 1% 99% mixture. I spend way too much time trying to be informed.

    Dale Carnegie’s human relation/sale course is centered on focusing on the needs of others. I learned that people really open up and oftentimes are delighted when someone actually asks them about their thoughts and desires as more times then not, most of what people run acros lots of “me” centered folks mixing with a other “me” centered folks

    Heck the’re even a Country song out with the title/theme: “I wanna talk about ME!”

    Great blogging. keep it up.

  4. No, I am not good at it but I would like to be. I really like the 1% 99% mixture. I spend way too much time trying to be informed.

    Dale Carnegie’s human relation/sale course is centered on focusing on the needs of others. I learned that people really open up and oftentimes are delighted when someone actually asks them about their thoughts and desires as more times then not, most of what people run acros lots of “me” centered folks mixing with a other “me” centered folks

    Heck the’re even a Country song out with the title/theme: “I wanna talk about ME!”

    Great blogging. keep it up.

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