As Brother Dan mentioned very eloquently yesterday…
“Sometimes death comes as the enemy, a thief in the night” — bringing hurt, pain and suffering.
“But sometimes death comes as a friend” — bringing mercy, relief and an end to suffering.
Yet whenever and however death comes, it leaves behind a gaping hole in those left behind.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, naked I’ll return to the womb of the earth.
God gives, God takes. God’s name be ever blessed.” – Job 1:21
After several months of suffering, my granddad, Deryl Perry Knotts, finally found peace Tuesday morning around 3:45 a.m.
For those of you who may have missed the updates via Twitter or Facebook, Granddad had surgery in mid-November to take care of a hernia he had been dealing with most of his life. He never opted to have it corrected, he just simply dealt with it (this hernia was on top of the recent discovery that he had bone cancer that had spread through most of his body). The pain from the hernia had became to unbearable and the doctors told him he’d either starve himself to death or they’d have to risk the surgery. He opted to take the chance on surgery in order to spend more time with his beloved family.
Quite frankly, I didn’t expect him to make it through the surgery – but he did and began the rough road to recovery. In fact many times over the last few months I haven’t even known what to pray. It’s been repeated moments of “God just take away his pain – however you choose to do it.” Every bit of me wanted him to be healed completely and return to a normal life — and if God wanted to work a miracle, I trusted he can and could do it — but I also saw what I felt was the reality of the situation.
The road was rough and he had many ups and downs throughout. There were days we were just certain he wouldn’t make it much longer and then days of joy when it really seemed it might be able to power through.
He finally made it out of the hospital and into a rehabilitation/nursing center in mid-January. His spirits were often low but he seemed to be making progress. Unfortunately the progress wasn’t enough for the nursing center and they said they’d have to let him go.
So in early February, my mom and dad moved him into their house to care for him 24/7. I honestly don’t know how my mom (and dad) did it for so long — except that her own father had lived his life leading by example and giving unconditionally to those he loved.
As the days turned into weeks, it seemed like Granddad might really rally and might even get the strength to walk again. But sadly the rally was short lived and on Monday, March 9, he took a turn for the worst. He lost most of his strength and simply wanted to stay in bed and sleep.
I saw him last on March 11 and had hoped to get one more interview about his life out of him. He was simply to tired and to weak to talk. He knew I was there as I sat and held his hand for some time. He asked how I was doing and asked about Laurie (he always wanted to be sure she was doing well and OK). But other then those few questions, his speech was very mumbled and he went in and out of sleep as I sat there.
On Sunday, March 15, my sister said she didn’t know how much longer he could make it and on Monday, Mom gave word that the Hospice nurse had come and taken him off his regular meds and moved him to a “comfort pack” to ease any suffering.
Tuesday morning, around 5:15 a.m., I talked with mom and she informed me that Granddad’s pain was no more. I’ve known for several months that this time was coming but it still doesn’t make it any easier.
He was a gracious and giving man and made friends everywhere he went. He had a strong, quiet faith and was never loud or boisterous about it. He simply lived out what (I believe) it means to be a Follower of the Way in the simple day-to-day things. If the Kingdom of God really is about giving of yourself for others, Granddad worked everyday to bring God’s Kingdom and Heaven to earth.
Whether it was entertaining a grandson’s entrepreneurial idea to start a baseball card shop in his shed, or always having cookies and ice cream awaiting our visit, or loaning his grandson his new car when a big event came up, he always worked hard to make life easier for those around him. His family was his ministry and he did it with all his might.
I truly hope that while my name reflects his, my life does even more.
We’ll miss you Granddad but we rejoice in the peace that passes all understanding and knowing that we will meet again.
related: Granddad’s page on our Family Wiki
highlight(s) of the week ::
On Tuesday we went and watched my nephew Jake play his first soccer game. He even scored a goal near the end of the game! Afterwards we had fun going to dinner with family for Brad’s (Laurie’s brother) birthday.
Also, on Wednesday night I was able to spend some time with my parents and grandparents. Not quite the evening I had expected, but it was time well spent.
quote i’m digging ::
“Because the Church of Jesus Christ boldly stood up and said we’re not going to kill the enemy, we’re going to identify with the suffering and suffer with them. This is Jesus’ way.†– Tony Campolo referring to the Church in Bulgaria standing up to Nazi Germany.
work update ::
I applied for a different position at DCCCD. Been holding off on saying anything until I heard back and/or my boss knew. I’ve applied for a Senior Web Editor position. Same building, different department, but still working on the district’s website (just another section of it). I had a test today for the position that mainly covered AP and writing style. We’ll see how well I did. I haven’t done much editing or use of AP style religiously in the last year or so. Hopefully I did OK and I’ll be asked to continue on in the hiring process.
freelance work ::
Picked up a couple more jobs this past week. One for a previous client (don’t really like that term) and another for a newbie. Both doing web work.
gym/weight update ::
I still haven’t lost much weight. I’m still stuck around 230 lbs. It varies from day to day. I feel like I’m in better (physical) shape overall but haven’t seen much change in my actual “shape” although several people keep suggesting I’ve lost a lot of weight. I did ride 19 miles on the exercise bike yesterday. Wasn’t a problem except for the sore rear-end near the end.
misc ::
I was also asked to photograph a wedding for a couple that couldn’t afford a “professional” photographer. Did the work for free and I’m in the process of editing/processing the photos. Once I get them processed maybe I’ll share some of them on Flickr.
(still) looking forward to ::
A day off on Friday! Woot!
At the gym yesterday I finally finished watching Prince of Peace/God of War on my Zune.
The documentary shares the views of folks who subscribe to Christian pacifism and those who subscribe to the Christian Just War Theory. I think it became clear which side the producer/director came to side with, but I think both sides were presented fairly.
Towards the end of the movie there’s a great contrast. Is violence justified at any time? (starts at 52:10) Is there a need for violence over Love Your Enemy?
At 55:42 in the movie Dr. Victor Shepherd, Professor of Systematic and Historical Theology at Tyndale Seminary in Toronto, ON, says he wants to be a pacifist with all his heart until he hears of the horrors of the holocaust and the horrors of those being oppressed around the world. And I was agreeing that yeah, that makes sense. I think we should be on the side of the oppressed and the hurting. We should be willing to stand up for them.
But then at 56:41 Dr. Tony Campolo, Professor at Eastern University at St. Davids, PA, shares a story that almost brought me to tears on my exercise bike.
Despite Bulgaria’s alliance with Germany in World War II, the leader of the Orthodox church in Bulgaria comes walking up to a train station in the middle of the night, where countless numbers of Jews were waiting to be taken to the Auschwitz concentration camp. The leader of the church is followed by 300 members of his church.
He walks to the fenced in area where the Jews are being kept and the guards tell him, “Father you’re not allowed in there.” He laughs and brushes their machine guns aside as he walks into the gated area. The Jews gathered around him, waiting to see what the Christian leader in Bulgaria would say in their moment of despair.
As they cried and begged for help the leader of the Bulgarian church quoted a simple verse from Ruth.
Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. (Ruth 1:16)
The Jews cheered. The Christians outside the fenced in area cheered. The noise became so loud that it woke up everyone in the community and they came to the train station and heard the news. Quickly the hundreds grew to thousands.
The Nazi soldiers suddenly realized there was no way they could overcome everyone there. There was no way they’d be able to get away with carting off the Jews to the concentration camps. The train left a short time later with none of the Jews on board and never returned again. And after that point, no Jews from Bulgaria were taken to a concentration camp of any sort.
“Because the Church of Jesus Christ boldly stood up and said we’re not going to kill the enemy, we’re going to identify with the suffering and suffer with them. This is Jesus’ way.”
Take an hour and watch download the movie to your desktop for free.
What about you? Are you a pacifist? Are you a pacifist until…? Why or why not?
UPDATE: The site where this movie was originally hosted may not be working now. But the entire documentary is available on YouTube:
Watched the latest episode of The Simpsons. Hilarious as always. And of course when Flanders is involved, there’s a great example of grace in the midst of the story.
To summarize, as the episode begins, Homer hosts an annual Mardi Gras party and pays for it with a home equity loan.
“I’ve got a home equity loan – I borrow all the money I want and the home gets stuck with the bill”
They quickly realize that at some point their loans are due and with an ARM their payments earn a 37%+ interest rate. And the bank quickly forecloses on them.
Their neighbor, the “overly Christian” Ned Flanders, decides to buy the house on auction and lets The Simpsons move back in “paying rent as they can.” And naturally The Simpsons quickly take advantage of Flanders grace and mercy and Flanders is forced to decide between kicking the family out again or giving grace again and again and again and again….
But here’s the money quote for me ::
“You can’t be a saint unless you live among the lepers.”
How true.
I’ll let you watch the show for yourself via Hulu. Then share your thoughts.
How would you respond?
A couple years ago, we met ScrapIron on the street near the Austin Street Shelter. He was a joy to be around and always carried an harmonica or two with him and was always more than willing to share the music that rang through his soul.
I was lucky enough to get him playing his rendition of Amazing Grace on the harmonica on video (see below). Since our first meeting I’ve run into ScrapIron a couple different times either near Austin Street or where he was hanging out under the bridges around downtown Dallas – he was always high spirited and rarely complained about the hand he’d been dealt.
It was through a comment on that that original video (on YouTube) that I got word today that ScrapIron passed away yesterday.
Hal Samples, who’s had a lot more contact with ScrapIron recently, and even helped him see several dreams come true passed along the heads-up.
He was really sick a couple of weeks ago and Keith took him to Baylor. They said that he had an infection in his lungs and gave him meds and released him within three hours. Three days later… he wasn’t able to breathe and was taken to Parkland. They did routine surgery to allow his lungs to drain and under the knife he lost his heart rate. Today he has brain damage and the hospital is looking to release him to a nursing home hospice situation.
Keith sent me the message this morning that Scrapiron passed yesterday. This is a sorry deal too. Ford was a great man… and a good friend…. a real artist and amazing soul. He has no family other than his brother… and there is no money for funeral set aside… it’s really shitty this whole deal has me angry…sad… fearful… and pissed… and grateful… all of it.
We want to have a memorial of some sort… I just need to get sorted.
Stay tuned…
We are making arrangements for a memorial to be had in SPACE (TBA) in hopes to raise the resources needed for a proper burial.
I agree with his sentiment. And it bothers me that there are thousands of people just like him who don’t get a chance to make an impact on someone else’s lives – only because we refuse to take the time to let them.
How many others are out there just like ScrapIron? Or just like John, or Marco and Cherese, or Mark?
How many stories are out there just waiting to be shared and listened to?