Top 15 questions from a twin mom

Here are the top 15 questions from one twin mom and her answers. Some of them are pretty funny and others I just can’t believe someone would ask you such a thing. I’ll have to put together my top 15 questions list after the first year or so.

15. “I could never do it.”
Oh really. What would you do? Would you put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, “Free to a good home. My mom can’t do it.”?

14. “Do they have different personalities?”
No. They are the same human being divided into several parts.

13. Said by a stranger, “They’re identical, right?” Mom answers, “No. They’re fraternal.” Stranger response, “They are NOT!”
OK. You’re right. I have no idea what I’m talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It’s been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.

12. “Are they ‘paternal’ twins?”
Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.

11. “Just wait till they’re older. It only gets harder.”
Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I’d receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.

10. “When one cries, does he wake the other?”

No. Multiples cannot hear each other’s cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.

9. From a perfect stranger: “Were they in the same sac?”
Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?

8. “Are they developmentally behind?”
Well, let’s see. They’re 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We’ll get back with you on that.

7. “How do you do it?”

Haven’t you seen the Nike commercials?

6. “Are they natural?”
Nope, their arms and legs are made of silicone.

5. “You must be SO busy.”
Are you volunteering to clean my house?

4. “Did you take drugs?”
Well, there was this one time in college….

3. “What do you do when they all cry at the same time?”
Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.

2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: “Are they identical?”
Uh. Not exactly.

And No. 1. Drum roll please. . . .

1. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question:

“Are they brothers?”
Enough said.

HAHA, I’m sure I’ll get some similar questions to these and I’ve even heard a complete stranger asking a mother of twins if she breastfed them. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to talk about that with a complete stranger…but I better get used to it I guess.

2 thoughts on “Top 15 questions from a twin mom

  1. Yep, get used to it. I don’t have twins but 2 out of my 3 kids were adopted from Ethiopia. I get “are they all yours?” “Which ones are your own?” “Are they foriegn?” “Where did you get him/her from?”

    Sometimes I’m nice and politely answer their questions and sometimes I’m just a little bit (read “a lot”) snarkier with my answers.

    After your boys are born and you’ve been out and about for a year, we’ll trade “stupidest questions”.

  2. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I was almost crying. You know how I love my sarcasm! Hehe

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