I’m really tired from this weekend. But for some reason I’m just not ready to go to bed. I’m afraid I’ll lay there staring at the ceiling or the back of my eyelids forever. Maybe I’ll go home and watch a movie or two. I’m thinking about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It’s a really clever movie that sometimes I wish and wonder if it could be true.
Could you possibly erase someone or an event from your mind?
And if you could, would you really want to?
I can think of several events or people I might like to erase, but what purpose would that serve?
What if I erased my sister’s death? Where would that leave me? Would I just hurt even worse because in my mind she would have just simply disappeared? I would never want to erase her from my memory or any part of her. She means too much, even as bad as her death hurts sometimes.
I can think of ex-girlfriends that I would probably love to erase, but there’s always so much I can look back on foundly and wish to return to those happier moments.
What would you erase if you could? And why?
Either way, I think I may head home, open a cheap bottle of wine and enjoy the rest of the evening before I finally run out of things to think and worry about.
“Sand is overrated. It’s just tiny, little rocks. “
There are new discoveries made everyday and advances made that promote our everyday quality of life. Babies are born with syndromes that could cause nearly immediate death. People are traumatized into a comatose state. Medical doctors have an important and prominent place in society as they use the new discoveries to give a child a shot at a normal life, and bring a patient out of a comma back to a functional state of living. We depend on our doctor’s knowledge to heal our pains and ease our hurts. Medicine has come a long way, but it never actually holds power over life and death.
My sister spent the last month of her life in and out of the hospital. No doctor could give her a clear diagnosis. Once she was even dismissed saying it was just a migraine. She had two spinal taps, several MRIs, CAT Scans, and every test in the book run on her. A world known neurologist was assigned to her case even with his team of experts they never figured out what was really going on in her body. It was not until her third trip to the hospital that they found a tumor on her kidney. This tumor was unlike any they had seen. They said it was 5 by 8 cm and excreting a hormone that caused her blood pressure to sore into the 200s. She was in immense pain that even Morphine could not sooth. The doctors planed to medicate the tumor and then operate when it was safely at rest. We all thought they would take care of her. We were thankful that modern science and the knowledge of the team of experts had finally found the cause of her pain. We eagerly awaited her healing and her soon approaching wedding day, but this time the doctors did not know enough and to their shock her heart gave out on March 21, 2005 and even the doctors are left with questions of how and why.
A preliminary autopsy report came back with astounding results. The tumor was described like a football and the average size of this kind of tumor is usually pea sized. An average person has 550 units of the hormone it was excreting. Amy’s tumor poisoned her body with over 40,000 units of this hormone and caused the left side of her heart to enlarge. The pathologist had never seen anything like this and they have no explanation. All the doctors were amazed she was alive as long as she was.
Amy blew them all away and all medical knowledge they have can not explain what happened in my sister’s body. Medicine is an amazing thing and has greatly helped in many ways, but we must remember that no matter how much stem cell research we do, no matter the technology we use in intervening there is still a force greater then us. The doctors could not heal my sister, but God knew exactly what was going on in her body and he healed her from suffering for forever. I believe that God can use doctors as a tool to bring healing to his children, but ultimately there is no stopping God’s plan. We have been blessed with medical advances and he has given us great knowledge, but the true medical miracle is seen in the power of an almighty God. He brought my sister into the world and created her to bless my life and the lives of over 800 people that attended her funeral. Ultimately he created her for his glory and was ready to take her to be with him forever. We are all blown away with what went on inside my sister’s body and we can not explain it. It was a miracle to us she was alive as long as she was, but this was no shock to the Lord. He knew this day before he formed her. She was his gift to us and her life was a miracle.
“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away blessed be the name of the Lordâ€
Last week as many of you may know, my family buried my sister Amy. I never dreamed that day would come. I don’t think anyone did.
Amy was full of life, energy and love for her friends, family and most importantly her Lord and Savior.
I was honored to write Amy’s obituary, but I felt inadequate as I finished the biography of 24 years.
How could 24 marvelous years be summed up in 329 words?
We sat on Tuesday afternoon going through boxes and boxes of photos Amy had collected during her short life.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, how could 329 words suffice?
I began to wonder how long my obituary might be.
I’m certain its length would be longer. I am two years older than Amy and she always considered me the “social butterfly” of our family. While I was always ready to jump into the next big thing, she was quietly memorizing scripture or spending time with her closest friends.
I remember after I transferred to The University of Mary Hardin-Baylor Amy would be frustrated when people knew her as “Jonathan’s little sister.”
After all, she did arrive at UMHB an entire year before I did.
She was never the outgoing, outspoken member of our family.
As a middle child I think she gave up trying to steal any talk-time or spotlight away from our youngest sister or me.
But a long obituary means nothing. A life worth living is measured by quality and not quantity.
I may live to be 99, but I will always question if my life was any where near worthy of hers.
Amy E. Blundell (Dec. 2004)Only 329 words for an obit, but those boxes and boxes of pictures really do say so much more.
As you look through them they’re not a “who’s who” of Mesquite, Belton, Dallas or anywhere else. But they’re a “who’s who” of who really mattered to Amy.
No matter how many boxes you went through, you didn’t find too many new faces.
Amy’s group of friends were small — but they were so very close.
She wasn’t out to be involved in every club in college. She wasn’t interested in making a name for herself.
She never set out to be Ms. Popular or Ms. I Know Everybody — but her funeral was a testimony that Amy impacted everyone she knew.
She was just here to help those nearest and dearest and live a life worthy of Christ — and in the end she made an impact on everyone she came in contact with.
Because while the faces in Amy’s boxes were few, the lives she touched were anything but.
Everyone who knew her loved her. And to be a part of her close circle meant you were something special.
I never understood why while growing up I went through girlfriends like dirty socks and Amy never dated at all.
It’s because she knew what she was looking for and she wasn’t going to settle for anything less.
She had her list and checked it twice.
If you didn’t meet her expectations, see you later, you won’t get her attention.
That’s why I know God placed her fiance Matt in her life. She wouldn’t take anything less than God’s best.
When Amy was hitting her early teens I was reminded how she was so worried about how she looked and how no guy would ever want to date her.
My best friend Matt consoled her saying, “Amy you’re beautiful. Someday your prince will come and take you away.”
That meant the world to her and she waited expectantly for her prince.
Her prince finally arrived nearly 10 years later.
Matt came into her life on a white horse and stole her heart away (much to the frustration of a way-too protective older brother.)
But despite any fears or doubts, Matt was Amy’s Proven Prince.
They were so in love. Not only with each other but with their God and Savior.
And as Amy laid in hospital beds and rested at home over the last month, Matt proved himself over and over again to everyone.
There is no one else I would have rather have had standing in my place protecting her from the world and its hurts and pains.
But while Matt was Amy’s Proven Prince here on earth, her Heavenly Prince Jesus Christ comforted her so much more.
She loved nothing more than reading His love letters to her and talking with Him.
She talked about Him constantly. She did everything she could to make Him happy.
And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that when she walked through the pearly gates of heaven her Heavenly Prince said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Welcome home.”
My parent’s pastor told the Easter Sunday congregation that he had received an e-mail shortly after Amy’s funeral.
The e-mail said that the writer had never really known Amy but they regretted that tremendously after attending her funeral.
The writer said that Amy was a true example of a life given to Christ and a lifestyle of evangelism.
Amy’s life was a testimony to Christ and a testimony to lifestyle evangelism.
She often wondered how she could reach her co-workers for Christ and how she could reach those around her. But she did it the best way she knew how — living a life focused on Christ.
For many of us, it takes 20, 30, or maybe even 70 or 80 years to figure out this thing called life.
But I’m quite certain Amy had it all figured out when she was three years old, sitting in a bathtub.
She made a decision that would affect the rest of her life, by accepting Christ as her Lord and Savior.
There was no evangelist breathing fire and brimstone down her neck, no flashy media presentation, no pressure to walk the aisle with her friends, just a burning desire in her heart to be like the Christians she knew and more importantly — to be like Christ.
Yet even as I wrap up this column I feel like 1060 words are not near enough.
I could write many more volumes on my sister, Amy Elizabeth Blundell. And even still, she would be embarrassed with the little I’ve written here.
