Mixing stages within groups

Brandi has a good post on a recent struggle they’re dealing with at her church and within her community group.

The group was initially intended to be a mixture of college students, single adults, and young married couples (without kids). Most of those people were already in care groups, but they weren’t attending for one reason or another. (We were attending ours, but mostly because we felt like we were supposed to. We were one of two childless couples in a group where kids outnumbered adults by a ratio of about 12:1. It was not the most fun I’ve ever had.) We were looking to try and provide a smaller, more intimate group where people who were just a life stage or two away from each other could get together.

She says that after a Christmas kickoff party they realized there were differences within their group.

The feedback we got was very clear – the college students don’t want to go to a couple’s group. They don’t want to have a discussion group, they just want to hang out with each other and have a good time. The couples (and older singles), on the other hand, want more than just a social meeting time. They want to have discussions and do studies and really dig into some stuff.

I think that’s an issue a lot of folks run into. I know we want to reach out to singles/college age folks with each of our community groups, but so far we’ve had limited success. Many blame their schedules but I wonder if there’s something deeper going on. Maybe they’re just not interested in church based community groups. Maybe they feel they have that already built into class, extra-curricular activities and work. Maybe the ho-hum of life hasn’t caught up with them yet. Maybe they don’t see the need for the relationships built within community groups.

I have to say that Laurie and I have talked recently about how beneficial our community group has been to us. Granted I do lead, so I kinda have to be there but we always have a good time during our weekly meetings as well as those extra events we plan and do with folks from our group during the week. It’s amazing to think about how limited our social calendar would be if it wasn’t for the relationships we’ve made in our community group (both past and present).

I don’t begrudge the college students at all. I think sometimes we forget that we’re older than we think we are. At 27, I don’t feel old, but at 19 I felt like 27 was a million miles away. We’ll figure out a plan for them, whether Aaron and I are involved or not. But it was clear last night that there are a lot of people at our church who are in a similar life stage that we’re in, and those people are looking for community. We are those people. And if we can provide that for them and for ourselves, then that’s what we need to be putting our efforts towards.

What about your group? Have you or other groups you know of had any luck attracting singles or college age folks?

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Jonathan Blundell

I'm a husband, father of three, blogger, podcaster, author and media geek who is hoping to live a simple life and follow The Way.

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