Letters

Dear Cowboys, UT and UMHB Football teams,

Thank you for all winning this weekend. I was begining to get worried after each of you suffered your first lost of the season last week.
My life can continue now that you are each 1-1.

A true fan,
Jonathan

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Dear guys who keep cutting me off on his motorcycle,

Thank you for proving to me that life can still be adventuresome — especially when you’re driving down I-35 at 70 miles per hour. Please don’t be mad at me if I accidentally rear end you or knock you off your bike, while traveling at that same speed. I’m only trying to make life for you as adventuresome as you’ve made it for me.

Road raged driver,
Jonathan

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Dear Charter Communications,

I’m sorry you felt you had to cut our cable off after several months of non-payment. We had come to enjoy the free cable that you were apparently too lazy to disconnect when the last tennant of our loft moved out.
Please feel free to reconnect us at your earliest convenience and expect the same monthly payment from us.

Looking for my old rabbit ears,
Jonathan

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Dear Dish Network,

I’m very sorry we had to part ways when I moved. I’m glad you’re enjoying the $150 for me cancelling my contract early. I would like to ask however that you stop calling me and harrasing me about sending my DVR/Satellite unit back.
If you really want it back, you’ll get around to sending the boxes you promised to send at the end of June.
Until then I take comfort in knowing that the final season of The West Wing is stored on the DVR and I can watch it anytime I get around to hooking the DVR back up.

Annoyed,
Jonathan

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Dear Brandi,

I’m glad you have no quams about stealing ideas from other bloggers. It gives me the courage to do the same.

Your Journalism Lab buddy,
Jonathan