Life Explained

I got this from a friend today and thought it was pretty funny.

On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said: “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said: “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:
“Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But man said: “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Tired Tired Tired

So I picked up Presley, my dog, from my parents house yesterday. She has been staying there for a while because it was difficult to have her where I was staying. Anyway, I got her and took her to our new place and usually when she goes to a new place she tries to get away with things…just like a kid. She does not like sleeping in her crate at night so she tries to stay away from it as much as possible when it comes time for bed. I put her in the crate last night and right as I went upstairs and got in bed she started whining…and didn’t stop! I think I slept 2 hours total all night. Now don’t think any less of me when I say this but I have one of those training shock collars for her (she’s stubborn and it’s the only thing that works!) so today I’m getting new batteries for it and she’s wearing it tonight. The last time she did this whining business I put the collar on her and within a night or two she stopped and was fine. Let’s hope that happens again. I would love for her to be able to sleep in bed with me but when she does I don’t get any sleep…so to the crate she goes.

I’ve got ants!

ant.gif

Anyone know a good exterminator? When I first moved in on Saturday, I kept finding a few ants here and there in the kitchen so I’d just squash them and go on about my business. Well, I kept finding them so I went out and got some Raide ant killer….I’ve sprayed those little boogers about 100 times and they still return…Maybe by the end of the lease we’ll have killed them all. It’s like they are doing the macarena in my kitchen… Just when you think they are gone, more come back. Help…any suggestions?

What a Weekend

Well, this weekend I moved to Waxahachie into our new place…okay, my new place for a month! It was a weekend, let me tell ya…First it started with a very long, frustrating trip to U-Haul…to make a long story short, we ended up with a 22 foot truck–not that we needed that, that’s just what we ended up with. Then right when we shut the doors on the truck after loading all my things the clouds opened up and began pouring. Not just raining, but it was a monsoon! It was like sheets of rain just pelting the windshield, and not only was it raining hard, it was coming at us sideways so you couldn’t see the lane dividers or anything. At one point we had switched lanes from the right to the middle lane (on purpose) and then somehow we had ended up back in the right hand lane (not on purpose)–don’t know when we did that but we did! It was pouring and the wind was HORRIBLE–I’m never doing that again. But we got it all unloaded the next morning with the help of Matt and Josh and my mom and vicki came out to help me put things up in the new place. Over all it was a good weekend. Jonathan’s blog has a great summary of the weekend, with photos too! I just don’t have the patience to go into detail like him.

New Home

Jonathan and I signed the lease yesterday on our first home. We got a townhouse in Waxahachie and I will move in this Friday–that’s like 2 days away–Wahoo. Granted it will be the casadeTurner for a month before the wedding. Jonathan doesn’t get to call it home until after the wedding! We signed a year lease so I don’t have to move for at least a year–yeah!
If you’d like to get our new address – send me an e-mail.

Hilarious

I got this from my brother today and this is Hilarious:

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.” “Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?” “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating That she never told a lie.” “Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?” St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands Have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life.” “Where’s Hillary Clinton’s clock?” asked the man. “Hillary’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

Comfy Shoes

I used to crack up at people who were wearing these shoes. They are like garden shoes and people would wear them out on the town. I saw some lady wearing them at North Park mall with a nice outfit on. I have kids come in the clinic all the time wearing them…on kids they are actually pretty cute. Anyway, I was at the wonderful world of Target yesterday trying to escape from the downpour outside and came across the shoes (what are they called anyway?) for $9. Who can beat that price…so I tried them on and WOW they are comfy! I got them and I’m wearing them to work today…I’ve crossed the dark side. But I bet my feet won’t hurt at the end of the day. If you haven’t tried these glorious shoes, clogs, sandals, whatever they are…you should!

Comfy Shoes

WARNING

Okay, so I’m no food critic or even a good cook but I do know what’s good and what’s not good in food. Maybe I am a little picky, but that’s beside the point. I am here to warn all of you…I’m doing my duty as a citizen in this community. Whatever you do, don’t ever buy and cook the cheesy hashbrown stuff from hamburger helper. It tasted like feet! Now, I don’t know what feet taste like, so I can only assume. This was the worst tasting meal I’ve had in a while….At first I thought maybe I did something wrong when I cooked it….No, it just tastes bad. So next time try something like Rice Oriental…it’s awesome! Just stay away from Cheesy Hashbrown stuff.