{"id":47,"date":"2007-01-13T20:02:00","date_gmt":"2007-01-14T02:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/?p=47"},"modified":"2007-01-13T20:02:00","modified_gmt":"2007-01-14T02:02:00","slug":"funnies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/uncategorized\/funnies\/","title":{"rendered":"Funnies"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!--116874022277299164-->So once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.<br \/>\nThe winners are:<\/p>\n<p>1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.<br \/>\n2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.<br \/>\n3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.<br \/>\n4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.<br \/>\n5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.<br \/>\n6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.<br \/>\n7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.<br \/>\n8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.<br \/>\n9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.<br \/>\n10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.<br \/>\n11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.<br \/>\n12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.<br \/>\n13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.<br \/>\n14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.<br \/>\n15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.<br \/>\n16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/uncategorized\/funnies\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":108,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s17Mch-funnies","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/108"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/laurie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}