I got these from my mom and they are HILARIOUS…These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:<\/p>\n
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.<\/p>\n
2. “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.<\/p>\n
3. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.<\/p>\n
4. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.<\/p>\n
5. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.<\/p>\n
6. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.<\/p>\n
7. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October! 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.<\/p>\n
8. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.<\/p>\n
9. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 p.m. – prayer and medication to follow.<\/p>\n
10. The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”<\/p>\n
And my absolute favorites:<\/p>\n
11. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m.. Please use the back door.<\/p>\n
12. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I got these from my mom and they are HILARIOUS…These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: 1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch … Continue reading