Letter to my unborn sons

To my precious boys, Hayden and Ian

I’m laying here on the couch writing this while waiting for your arrival in just a few short weeks. I have been ordered to stay on the couch for about 2-months now trying to keep you growing stronger and healthier before you make your appearance into the world. So far it has worked!

It has been a long tough road to bring you into this world, even before you were created it was a battle your dad and I went through. We have wanted you and dreamed about you from the day we got married 3 — years ago. However, getting you here hasn’t always been easy — there were many bumps in the road before we found out about you. Little did we know that when we did finally find out we were having a baby, we would get two! God blessed us beyond comprehension to get the opportunity to raise the two of you and teach you to become Godly men and serve Him in His kingdom! You have such wonderful role models to learn this from. If you’ll just watch your father and grandfathers live their lives, even for a day, you will learn how to do this.

As I have been on bed rest with the two of you, I have had A LOT of time to think about you and what my dreams are for you and your role as brothers and sons, but most importantly individuals. Yes, you two were born on the same day, share a birthday and you developed and grew together in the same womb. You are not just brothers; you are twins, you share something most people will never experience. You have known each other from day one and for that you will always have a special bond. Your dad and I will never try to take that away from you but will actually try to foster that bond and relationship between the two of you. At the same time we recognize that you two are different individuals and not just one unit. You may be referred to as “the twins” a lot but you will always be Hayden and Ian, the individuals. You may have been created at the same time, but you were created with different personalities, traits and characteristics that differentiate you from one another. I for one can not wait to get to know you and watch you grow. Fun times are headed our way for sure!

There are so many things that I want to teach you, so much I want to share. I keep thinking of the lessons I’ve learned and what will be the best way to teach them to you. I want you to feel like you have it all even if I can’t give you all the material goods you’ll want. The first thing I want you to learn in this life, is that it’s OK not to have it all.

The most valuable thing a person can have is his/her integrity, so don’t ever lose your integrity and stand firm in what you believe in; your values and morals. This is followed closely by friends you can count on. If you ever make friends that try to change who you are then it’s time to leave them and find ones that appreciate you for who you are.

I might not always be the best mother. Someday I won’t even come close. I may get mad at you when I’m having a bad day. I may let you watch too much TV or eat too much junk food. There are hundreds of things I could do wrong. I just want you to know that even when I’m drowning in all the things I’m not doing right I’ll still be trying. I will spend the rest of my life trying to ensure that each of your lives are the best they can be.

Your father and I aren’t perfect but we will do our best to teach you the difference between right and wrong — even if sometimes you might think our approach is wrong. We will always give you the reason for the lesson not just the point. If you ever have to wonder why your in trouble it’s a sure sign we’re doing wrong.

I hope and pray you learn these lessons in life:

Knowledge is Power
Never stop learning. Take pleasure in reading, writing, listening and sharing a little every day. Having an active mind is something you never want to lose!

Work Hard
Having the drive and determination to complete a task makes you a winner from the start. Rolling up your sleeves, putting in your dues and trying your very best will take you where you want to go. Find fulfillment and satisfaction in the smallest task as well as in your greatest achievements.

Have fun
Find enjoyment in all you do. Be positive, attitude is everything. Having a carefree, laid-back personality helps you to relax and enjoy all that life has to offer. Don’t sweat the small stuff!

Love
Learn the power of unconditional love. Love yourself and other people. Have compassion for all those around you. Love life, and even in your dark hours face your doubts and demons courageously, learn from them and move on with hope in your heart. Life is nothing without love.

Independence
Be self-sufficient. Learn to take care of yourself and make your own decisions. Learn to trust your instincts and grow independent and confident. I want you to be self-reliant so that no-one can control your happiness. Look inward and to God for reinforcement and replenishment.

Creativity
Learn to “think outside the box”. Don’t be a follower, be a leader. Use your imagination. Be your own person. Great things come to those who choose the road less traveled.

Learn to Compromise
Compromise is the key to any lasting relationship. Whether you are dealing with family friends or business partners, you must learn the art of “meeting in the middle”. In life you don’t always get your way.

Follow Your Dreams
Never give up on your dreams. Anything is possible. Follow your heart and be the “Little Engine That Could.” I will not discourage your childish aspirations. Instead, I will support, encourage and where possible, help to actively work towards your attainment of them.

Forgive
Show grace to everyone. Don’t hold a grudge, resentment or anger towards anyone and learn how to forgive and show mercy to others. People make mistakes and no one is perfect — not even the two of you.

When you get old enough to leave us it’ll break my heart to watch you go, but I’ll smile through my tears with the confidence that by then I’ll have taught you all you’ll need to know to make it out in the real world. I might have to let you learn a few lessons the hard way but for the most part I think you’ll do fine. No matter what happens in life, I’m here for you, I love you, and I promise I’ll do my best to be the kind of mother that makes you proud to have a place you can call home.

I hope you both realize just how important you are to me — already — and you haven’t even taken your first breath yet! Your happiness is my life’s work. Everything you do, each moment of your life, from the first instant I see your face, will bring me more fulfillment than anything else I’ve experienced thus far. I will always, always love you.

Love you always,
Mom

P.S. Don’t grow up too fast