I saw this on another blog and thought it was hilarious. Obviously I have never lived through having 3 children, or even 1 for that matter. But I am the youngest of three and trust me by the 3rd one parents are more lax and have learned a thing or two from raising 2 other kids. I’ve seen friends go from being childless to raising not one, but two or even three kids and how they change with each new addition. They may be fanatical about changing a diaper the second its wet or pick up the baby with every little whimper with the first one but when the second or third one comes along, they have relaxed a little bit. It’s pretty funny to watch. Being pregnant you think about all kind of scenarios and about how you would react in a specific situation. You may think you’ll react one way but you’ll never know until you are actually in the midst of it.
Anyway, here you go…enjoy!
Maternity Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3 rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby : You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance
I can say some of these I already act like its the 2nd or 3rd kid already! I put off buying/wearing maternity clothes until I absolutely could not fit into any of my pre pregnancy clothes anymore…ahh, I miss my jeans…and being able to see my feet! The whole preparing for birth…ya I would take an epidural now if they would give it to me, I may sleep better if I had that. And the coin thing…I’ll never forget when my brother called me and asked what to do because they thought my nephew had swallowed a coin. I just asked “Is he breathing ok? Can he speak ok? Does he look bothered by it?” If the answers are yes, yes and no…then wait for the bank of Jake to give you your withdrawl – AKA, poop it out. “He’ll be fine”, and he was….we really aren’t even sure if he swallowed one to begin with but you have to take a 3 yr old seriously when they say “I think I swallowed a coin.”
