Baby update

No, I’m not pregnant! We have been doing infertility treatment for a while now and nothing has really worked. Basically I just don’t respond to the medications. This is our last month of just medications, next month we will probably start IUI treatments. I’m not going to go into what all that entails, but it’s the step in between fertility drugs and IVF. We decided that we are not going to do IVF simply because it’s too expensive. We can’t justify spending $30,000 on a chance that we’ll get pregnant, when we can spend that much and adopt several kids (I’m not saying we’ll adopt several kids, I’m just using it as an example). IUI, which we are going to try isn’t cheap but it doesn’t even come close to the cost of IVF. We are doing treatments for a little while longer, but in the mean time we are getting the foster to adopt process started.

We have decided to do a foster to adoption with CPS. Basically we would get a child that is in CPS custody and foster them for a while and then adopt them. You have to foster a child in your home for 6 months before you can legally adopt them. We started filling out the adoption application this weekend and our orientation is next week. The first week of november we start our foster parent classes and then after that (mid December) we’ll complete a home study (wherever we’re living at the time- hopefully not here) and then we’ll be certified to accept a child. There are a million and 1 papers to fill out, get notarized and send in. Plus inspections by the fire department, health department and all other kinds of stuff we’ll have to do but it will all be worth it in the end.

Now for the most common statement I have heard since telling people we were starting the adoption process…drum roll please……..”Now that you’re doing this, you’ll get pregnant”. To be honest, this statement never really bothered me until now…now everytime I hear it I cringe and take offense. I’m sorry but if it hasn’t happened in almost 2 years, why would it happen now!! Statistics show that a whopping 5% of couples who stop trying to get pregnant and adopt get pregnant after they adopt…the same as people who simply stop treatment for infertility. I’m not saying it won’t happen, I’m just saying there is a very slim chance that it will. And, the next most common statement or question I get since telling people we are adopting is…”what will you do if you get pregnant?” What do you mean, what will I do?? We’ll be thrilled! I for one, am not going to just sit around and wait 5 years for us to get pregnant. If we adopt and then get pregnant–GREAT, we’ll just have 2 babies. On the other hand, if we get pregnant while we are going through the classes and beginning of the process, we may put it off for a while, but we’ll cross that bridge when/if we get to it. We will adopt though, just maybe not in the next 6 months.

As thrilled as I am about the possibility of adoption and bringing a baby into our home – at the same time, I’m also sad, angry, disappointed and a part of me feels like I’d be giving up on the possibility of us having our own biological child. But I can only handle the emotional roller coaster we call our lives right now for so long. The tolls the treatments are taking on me physically are getting a little too much to handle as well.

Stay tuned for updates on the whole adoption process – I promise I’ll keep you updated.