{"id":600,"date":"2006-01-03T11:36:00","date_gmt":"2006-01-03T17:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/?p=600"},"modified":"2006-01-03T11:36:00","modified_gmt":"2006-01-03T17:36:00","slug":"15-comments-heard-from-cops","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/15-comments-heard-from-cops\/","title":{"rendered":"15 comments heard from cops"},"content":{"rendered":"

Got this from a Lancaster<\/A> cop:<\/p>\n

The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country.
\n#15. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.”
\n#14. “Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
\n#13. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
\n#12. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn’t know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun.”
\n#11. “So you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”
\n#10. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
\n#9. “Warning? You want a warning? O. K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
\n#8. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
\n#7. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in donkey crap.”
\n#6. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
\n#5. “No, sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”
\n#4. “Just how big were those two beers?”
\n#3. “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”
\n#2. “I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.”
\n#1 “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Got this from a Lancaster cop: The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. #15. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.” #14. “Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” #13. … Continue reading 15 comments heard from cops<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pEnSo-9G","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/84"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/600\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/casadeblundell.com\/jonathan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}